Monday, October 6, 2014

Curry Recipe

This is embarrassing really. There are hardly any local ingredients in this. Once upon a time this was a great recipe from two sources, Local Kitchen (see blogs on the side-bar) and my friend Jane.

Then I grabbed hold of it, compared the two recipes, figured out a way to make is simpler and still tasty.

First Step:
Stop cat from howling. See earlier blog post for explanation.

Second Step:
This assumes you have already done your shopping and have ALL the ingredients on hand. I have attempted several times to wiggle out of cooking by saying I forgot to buy something, but this works only a few times before I get sent off to the store.

Pour a scotch. This is so you have something to look forward to when the horror is over.

Third Step:
The meat. If you plan ahead, this can be local and stored in the freezer. You do have to defrost it ahead of time. I've tried to cook from frozen, many years ago, and it only poisons people. Hopefully someone was encouraged to barbeque the meat the evening before when it was their turn to cook. Otherwise, you have to chop up the meat, getting rid of the grizzly bits, don't throw up, then fry the meat so it is fully cooked. You can do this a day ahead if you have trouble recovering from meat frying.

Fourth Step:
Sniff the Scotch.

Fifth Step:
Cut up an onion quickly. Big bits are OK. You don't want to ruin the taste of the scotch by having a running nose. Open a can of coconut milk and pour into a sauce pan. Whop in a bunch of peanut butter. The amounts of these two items depends on how many people you are feeding. In this house, one can of coconut milk is good for two people. (four people needs two cans and two whops). Set burner to medium and you really do have to pay attention for a few minutes. Stir until onions, coconut milk and peanut butter are blended. Toss in curry powder, or if you like to make your own curry powder.... wait a minute, if you are reading this recipe, you do not like to make your own curry. Let's get real. Plop in curry. Buy a good brand so no one can complain. Stir using a spatula. This helps to get the sticky bits off the bottom of the sauce pan. Don't fret. This adds a nice colour to the sauce.

Five Step:
Be honest with yourself. If you have that scotch, you might wander off and forget the rest of the dinner. Don't do it.

Step Step Six:
To be really honest, I've been drinking a scotch from a glass that is hidden behind the first glass, so it looks like I'm not drinking the scotch. These are the things I learned when I taught myself to cook.

sTep seVen:
Hopefully it is still safe enough to cut up any veggies you want in the recipe. Do so. Anything. Really, whatever is left over in the fridge or pantry or fruit drawer. Avoid cheese and the cat's food.  Add cut up things to sauce. Stir again. Scrape bottom of pot again. Celebrate the brown bits.

Still part of steep Seeven, add in anything in a can you like the sound of. I like chickpeas but today, it turned out I really didn't have that ingredient, so I used a mixed bean selection meant for tomorrows chili. No one will notice because they will turn yellow in a few minutes. Who can tell the difference between a yellow chick pea and a yellow kidney bean? NOt mE. Low boil (not low ball) all the ingredients so they are all hot. Turn heat down.

Ask yourself if everything is in the pot. Are all the cans empty, are all the chopped things gone? Is the pot full. Turn the heat down to low-ish, stir a few times. I mention this again, in case you forgot. Now look for the couscous.

Couscous is the dream ingredient for people who hate to cook. One third cup of couscous per person, double the amount of boiling water; combine the two in the same bowl (this is optimal) and wait five minutes. You have enough time to run upstairs and brush your teeth. In case anyone is critical of the second glass of scotch. Which remains the second glass of scotch, because it was hiding behind the first.

Hang around a while until you are sure all the ingredients are cooked through. Doesn't matter if the couscous gets cold, the coconut sauce will warm it up again. Get a good book, drink the scotch you've been waiting so long for. Srve whn everyone starts milling n eth kitchen lookn at you reproachfully.

Serve with beer.

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