Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Intentional Dots - six

Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself. There is such a huge chasm between what I wish was happening in my life and what is actually happening in it. That doesn't mean I'm unhappy with the actual, nor does it mean I am entirely delusional in my wishes. I suppose it means I don't have a very realistic assessment of either and rather poor skills at blending the two.

Intentional Dots was an idea of embroidering a dot every day or so. It started last summer and was meant to be done by the end of September.

Then life happened.

Then this dot happened and I was horrified. According to my rules to myself to accept what the hand and eye were being led to do, this mess showed up and that stalled me for a while too.

Then a few more dots came into being. The orange dot had a different out line for a few weeks until I couldn't stand it anymore. If I had to live with the orange and teal horror, I would at least give myself permission to adjust this one, so the edge smoothed out and I added little specks of orange on the inside to tie it together better. Sort of .

Then life happened again. Luckily, for those involved, there aren't any photos that can incriminate any of us.

Then a few more dots and life and so on. Then it became winter and Hot Flash Woman took over for a while. Along with that we had the dreaded 6. Six things that we knew were on the horizon and they would either be not as bad as I feared or.... they would.

One day, while putting the lid on the toothpaste, the 'Still Small Voice', as we Quakers call the occasional insight purportedly put there by the Divine, happened to pass through. (If it makes it through that sentence, it will be another mini-miracle). This whizzing thought was,

"when things happen that we are dreading, it can set us free"

It can set us free by either not happening and all that worry can go away, or it wasn't as bad as we expected, and all that worry can go away, or it happens and there is no point in worrying anymore because there's not much we can do but deal with it. There's a sub-message about worry, but let's dwell on the dreaded events.

Sometimes the dreaded events really are stinky. We have one on the go right now and it is no picnic for those who are dealing with it daily and it isn't much fun for those of us dealing with it long distance. Yet, in a way, the fact that it is happening sets me free. The worry and dread are over, it's time to get on with things and some things must simply wait.

Back to the Intentional Dots. I have managed to get the last of the coloured ones completed. The beaded ones will happen at the end so the embroidery hoop doesn't damage the beads.

I am onto making the ones in various tones of white. I am beginning to realize that I don't know what to do with the back of the piece because the threads show through the fine linen. Oops. That wasn't intentional.

How does my toothpaste moment and the Intentional Dots wrap up together?

Mostly that our best or even are worst intentions never quite come to pass as we expect. Planning ahead can expend a lot of energy that doesn't help us a lot in the moment of dealing with a problem or opportunity. And being impetuous can also lead to an Oops. Something in the middle is needed. Some planning, a touch of worry, resting in a decision or a question until it is timely and then acting with parts of the plan and parts of impetuosity. OKAY, what's next? Hit me.

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